You are Good Enough Right Now
Have you ever had a friend who subtly undermined you in imperceptible ways that you can’t quite put your finger on? Where each time you walked away you felt somehow worse about yourself and a little more anxious? Well that’s how this time of year feels to me.
It’s the end of the year and it’s the end of a decade and as to be expected people are making commitments to be better, do better, get thinner, make more money, and make shit happen. I get it! I’ve done it. I’m 51 going on 52 and I have played the compare-despair-fix myself game more years than I care to think about.
Under all the ads for weight loss, new cars, diamond rings, and happiness on steroids is this unspoken communication that we’re just not measuring up and that who we are and how we are is not OK or not good enough.
Have you ever tried to change someone? My father was overweight to morbidly obese for many years and growing up my mom, my brothers and I all shamed him to try to get him to lose weight. You know what happened? He got heavier and angrier.
Changing, fixing, shaming, or making someone wrong in order to try to make it right doesn’t work. It makes things worse. Fear and anxiety produces results for a little while, but they rarely stick and they always come at a cost.
Well I say fuck that shit! That cycle is exhausting and it doesn’t work. Instead this year I sincerely invite you to do something radical: take yourself off the emotionally taxing and unkind process of compare-despair-fix yourself. Just give up whole hog the need to fix yourself on any level.
This year, if you want, go ahead and buy the car! Go ahead and lose the weight, get into shape, make millions, start the business, move out, get the relationship of your dreams, leave the relationship from hell. Do whatever your heart desires! But for the love of everything good and holy in this world, do it from being good enough, RIGHT NOW. Because doing it from “I’m-not-good-enough-and-I-need-to-change-or-fix-myself-or-else” is a set up for unhappiness and eventual failure.
Make this year – this decade! – the one where you don’t hold back love and self-acceptance until you lose the weight (or make the millions, or whatever). Dare – really, really dare – to give yourself love and self-acceptance now, like right now. And then go work out. Love your beautiful, perfectly imperfect body while you’re walking yourself to the gym. I swear to you that you will end up losing more weight and you will end up being happier if you start from the fundamental premise that you are truly good enough exactly as you are right now.
Reach out if you would like to explore all the ways you can pursue your dreams and goals from a place of self-love and real power.